There's something about An Open Letter

A Suspicious Man's open letter to Starbucks staffs:

To begin with, I would like to state that there exist no personal dispute of any sort against anyone. In fact, I think the cappuccino you guys serves is very sibei 的 nice especially on a chilly evening.

But then, there's always room for improvement, lots of room since you are serving the general public. As a regular customer of Starbucks, I would like to point out to you the following points which you may like to look into.


#1. You guys need to put a stop to all non-smokers from hogging the smoker's tables. According to my research, there's a 95.80% chance that all the tables in the smoking corner will be taken whenever I decides to have a puff. Especially true on a rainy day.

82.90% of the time, the fellas sitting in the smoking table is not a smoker and is too occupied with his PSP. Such acts of audacity is clearly a challenge to your authority. I strongly recommend conducting Public Caning on anyone found not smoking at a smoking table.

I really think Singapore should consider lifting the penalty for the possession of guns so that unnecessary quarrels can then be avoided, though at the cost of having a lower population rate, but that's besides the point.


#2. Sean Kingston's songs has been on a constant repeat mode in alot of Starbucks outlets. It is not a good feeling to be forced indoor listening to Beautiful Girls because of the people hogging the seats playing WWE cards, Gameboy, PSP etc etc.

Even Ernie's I Don't Want To Live On The Moon has a better tune than Beautiful Girls.


I look forward to the improved environment and if you ever need any feedbacks, you can find me sniping the table-hoggers at the opposite mall.


Yours truly,
~A Suspicious Man

There's something about Chicken Soup For The Suspicious Soul

Contents:

1. Foreword
2. Quotes
3. Inspirational Stories
4. About the Author


Foreword

In Chicken Soup For A Suspicious Soul, you will find a delightful selection of short inspirational quotes and stories meant to pull the unmotivated away from the losers and encourage them to pick up their pace in life.

Specifically, the collection is geared towards readers who seeks to find the meaning of life and maybe waste their time for a good minute or so with the invaluable moral values it brings.


Quotes

"A true victory is when all your opponent's base are belong to you even before you set them up the bomb" - Sun Tzu

"To err is human; to escape, divine." - Alexander Pope

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give a man a Fillet-O-Fish and you feed him for a lifetime" - 'Ronalds.M'

"Two wrongs doesn't make a right, but two Wrights made an airplane" - Anonymous

"Ask not what a LOL can do for you, but what you can do for a LOL" - John F. Kennedy


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Inspirational Stories

Chapter 1 - "Never Give Up"
of 65 year old changing lives of others with pure determination

At first glance, Mrs Jennison would seem just like any other typical elderly taking a morning stroll in the small town. But just like how a book can't be judge by its cover, the 65 year old is far from typical.

"I might be turning 66 next month, but I strongly believe in influencing and changing the monotonous life of my fellow townfolks everyday I live" said she while taking a sip of her tea.

"During my morning strolls, the stall keepers would acknowledge my presence by showering me with gifts like eggs, apples and sometimes durians" she added right before a pitchfork flew through her garden and landed a few centimetre away from her. "Don't worry, this is nothing compared to the fire last evening :)"

Mrs Jennison outstanding determination is further proven when she insists on living her life doing the stuffs she enjoys doing despite being the target of several assassination attempts.

A truly motivational story of an old lady standing tall to her beliefs of never being too old.


The very innovative Mrs Jennison successfully stopping the road works for the 4th time this week


Chapter 2 - "Hope is all around" (Submitted by: XiaoMing)
living a 2nd chance in life

I am a 12 year old boy living in the fictional country called China. I was born the youngest one of my family and I often gets bullied by the girls in class.

I tried to make friends with the cool guys in school by initiating a conversation about honor and courage, but I have no idea why they shoved me into the girl's toilet instead.

One fateful day, I went to the cinema and stupidly watched the overrated Kung Fu Dunk instead of CJ7 because I thought it's gonna be lousy.

Right after the film, I immediately regretted and felt that life is meaningless and started having suicidal thoughts frequently. I can never set my eyes on a basketball with the same views again. Sometimes at night I cry.

Alas, life hasn't forsaken me and hope came sometime later in the form of Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber Of Fleet Street. As I step out of the theatre after the show, I realized my folly and felt that I was given a new life.

I now dedicate my life to doing charity work in the form of promoting the film.


Chapter 3 - "A Big Tree Attracts The Woodsman's Axe."
Touching tale of a passionate guy chases his dreams

Abdul "Anthony" Ali is a famous gamer who visits all the arcades in the world daily.

More commonly known by his initials, AAA, he is frequently the top record holder for most of the games in an arcade. However he is not one who boast about his extraordinary talents.

His initials appearing in almost every arcade machine's list of top scores had lead many to believe that he have no life and is a geek, but(!) he doesn't care about what the others think. He believes in doing what he enjoys doing best and living life to its fullest while keeping a low profile.

Rain or shine, he travels around the world daily just to follow his dreams of setting high scores for every game and not one day have he taken a break since the Pacman machine was invented in 1980.


Abdul "Anthony" Ali pursuing his dream


About The Author

Mr Best Seller! lives in a humble lil' cottage with his make-believe wife and two sons. True to his name, he spends his life writing best selling books. In his free time, he enjoys purchasing his own books and rearranging his works in the bookstalls.



More later,
~A Suspicious Man

There's something about A Lup Sup Update

Hello everyone.

Err, yah haha. I've gone missing from the face of the internet for a week now.

I figured making excuses such as me getting kidnap by aliens or having an adventure involving a lion, a witch and a wardrobe isn't going to be very convincing. no no no.

So in all honesty, I spent the week diligently reading the Chicken Soup For The Soul series I brought myself using the money I got from Chinese New Year. Yah, I did not slack for a week. I am very ashamed of myself.

Fig 1.1.



Despite reading bout' the motivational stuffs, I realised I just can't put my heart and soul into studying partly because classmates wouldn't stop making life difficult for me for no apparent reason but mainly because I just can't stay awake during classes.

A superstitious friend told me people born in the year of horses, me, is going to have the worst of luck this year man. Involving break-ups, legal issues and bad foresight and something like that.

Walao. I think that would explain how I managed to slide down a full flight of stairs for the 5th time this week. When I try to be funny and use the newly-built lifts yesterday, it somehow broke down and I got stuck in it for half an hour.

Cham, This is definitely going to be a very bad year.


More later,
~A Suspicious Man

There's something about Off For A Break

More later,
~A Suspicious Man

There's something about A Sign That The End Of World Is Coming

I iz so sien of the conversations I have with people around me lately because they seems to revolve only around Maplestory.

As I'm typing this with the GPRS, a level 120 dunnowad magician of a collegue of mine is having a field trip boasting bout' his virtual stuffs while explaining why he is the King of Maplestory.

Words according to my schoolmates, there's this fella who went praying before his family altar because he wants to PWNz a boss monster in the game.

I have no idea why, but that really cracks me up even when I think of it now :D

There's also this friend of mine whom is skipping the breaks daily because he is saving up to buy some in game stuffs which is only available through the real world currency. I think he will sprout wings and become a deity or something.

For want of a better depiction, study Fig 1.1.


Fig 1.1.



Argh.



More later,
~A Suspicious Man

There's something about Mrs Lovett's Meat Pie

Contents:

1. Introductions

2. A word from the Author

3. Meat Pie recipe

4. About the Author

Introductions

Mrs Lovett Cookbook is the second most nonsensical writings ever publish. The first being James Lee's Mr Midnight Series, of course. This book provides a step-by-step guide on baking your very own cost cutting, profit maximizing meat pie.

Fun for the whole family.

From the Author

I eliminated the problems of the weak and uninitiated by eliminating the weak and the uninitiated themselves. The problem of poverty is therefore solved! I am genius. All your base are belong to me.

"If Yan can cook, so can I."

Mrs Lovett Meat Pie (serves 4)

What you need:

- 1 pie crust
- 3 eggs
- 6 tablespoons butter
- 6 tablespoons flour
- 1/2 teaspoon salt
- 1/8 teaspoon pepper
- Patience
- PSP
- 1 not so alive and kickin' person

Extract:

Step #1:
Preheat oven and boil pot of water of 2-3mins.

Step #2:
Add flour, butter and seasonings and stir untill bubbly.

Step #3:
Using your Patience, wait for 1 not so alive and kickin' person to drop from the ceiling. (this is when the PSP comes in handy)

About the Author

The very successful Mrs Lovett is also the owner of a bakery on Fleet Street, creatively named Mrs Lovett's Bakery. Contrary to popular belief, she is not the wife of Lyle Lovett, the real life American singer.

When Mrs Lovett isn't baking pies, there will be no pies baked.

More later,

~A Suspicious Man

There's something about CNY Conversations

Me: Happy new year :)

Aunt #1: Hey you so thin! :)

Aunt #3: Aiyo...

Aunt #2: Want be model huh

Aunt #3: haha yah, so tall and skinny, bamboo stick hahaha

Aunt #1: Girls don't like skinny boys leh haha

Aunt #2: Like the African kids hor, you know the African kids?

Aunt #2: Wind blow you away anot haha :)

Aunt #3: I think he will.
-Laughs in unison-


Bamboo, African kid.. Walao.



More later,
~An Auspicious Man

There's something about Mystery #1: The Case Of The Missing Last Muffin

The first photo taken of the scene of crime

Sunday, February 3rd 2008, 11.50pm


The Last Muffin was reported missing in the home of the Joneses last Sunday. Extensive investigation conducted by renowned detectives from all around the world revealed the case to be far more complicated than it seems to be.

In fact, the crime was perfect and clues to solving it was minimal. It is unlikely that The Last Muffin will ever be found.



Mrs Joneses


The Last Muffin's final hours

Upon immediate discovery of the disappeared Last Muffin, a very traumatized Mrs Joneses shouted, "WHO STOLE THE MOTHER-FUCKING MUFFIN ON THE MOTHER-FUCKING PLATE" and went on to rammage the house which ended fruitlessly 5min later, before handling the case to the police.

An hour later, officers arrived and found a dead body, a bloodied knife and 5kg worth of weeds a street across the crime scene but quickly realised that it had nothing to do with the case and promptly got back to the matters at hand.

Investigators were called in later & the list of suspects was then narrowed down to three individuals. They had since been interrogated.


The top suspects


Mr Cookie lol.Monster

Cookie.M had a previous criminal record of shop burglary and getting caught red-handed by the shopkeeper, Mr Elmo(red handed, haha).

An account from Big Bird suggested that his alibi of being at Sesame Street on Sunday was made up.

Throughout the interrogation, not only did he behaved rebelliously by making faces, he absolutely refused to co-operate by defiantly mumbling incoherently as well.



Mighty "Muffin" P.Ranger

He is suspected to be involved in serial murders of innocent pancakes a few year back, but had evaded apprehension by changing his name.

He was captured recently and put into Kids Central.

Not much information is collected from him.



The Ninjabread Man

Eyewitnesses reported seeing The Last Muffin and Ninjabread Man falling out a day before his disappearance.

Testimonies gathered from several people suggested him to be very, very violent when drunk.

Upon being questioned for his whereabouts during the evening, he oddly tied a red bandana on his forehead before whipping out a sword and attacked the officers.

He is currently in lock up.


Aftermaths

Support was recieved from the public and even a ILuvMuffinz4Eva page had been set up anonymously on Friendster.

Some of the very compassionate staffs from Delifrance went to the extend of offering their muffins to The Joneses, but they say it wouldn't be the same again.

Although the PWNzed body of The Last Muffin had yet to be found, it is however very unlikely for him to be alive because evidence from the photo of the plate(see top) suggests that he was mortally wounded before the demise.

Despite the overwhelming odds, optimistic people had came forward to convey their message to the general public.



Mr Franston telling the inspectors to keep the hope alive, man!



More later,
~An Auspicious Man

There's something about A Suspicious Blog

Looking back, It was first started on a sad, boring and stormy Sunday morning.

In the beginning there was a boy and the boy said, "let there be a blog" and there was a blog. The purpose of it initially was for self amusement, and to kill time.

Some time later, I invited my peepz here and the readership which consisted of 1(yah, myself) person per day grew to actually 5. Then slowly to 10, to 20, to 30 and as the days past, the people who happened to chance upon this page increased and I find myself checking the analytics every night and feeling kinda pressured.

This kinda stress is the kind you feel when a game's ending in 2mins and the score of the other team to your team is 2 : 1.

While sipping my mocha this morning, I suddenly come to one hell of a conclusion. Why the hell am I writing if it actually brings stress man?

The stress to want to write good stuffs for the people who reads, the stress to not lose the traffic and crappy thoughts of not earning anything due to the lack of ads.

"Dude, just be YOURSELF" dissuaded a very wise friend when I consulted him over breakfast. "Also, why would anyone feel obliged to write?" said he before attacking his plate of Nasi Lemak.
Walao. I think that makes so much sense man! I've thus made up my mind to remove Nuffnang, Statscounter and everything that would kill the fun of blogging and brings pressure(?) instead.

Just like what the 35th President of the United States once said:



Random fact of the day:
A kitten starves to death each time you refresh the Statscounter page.


I feel so enlightened now that I'm going to go grab another can of Mocha. Adios :D!



More later,
~An Auspicious Man

There's something about The Seven Things Meme

Hello everyone :D

Found myself tagged with a "7 things" meme while I was multi tasking between reading a mystery book and blog hopping. I don't really look forward to having an eyeless girl hanging from my roof and trying to knife me at 2am because that will probably wake me up which will then cause unnecessary loss of both lives and sleep.

So here goes:


Seven Things That Scare Me
#1. The neighbourhood watch group
#2. Sergeant Dollah
#3. Appearing in an episode of Crime Watch
#4. Appearing in two episodes of Crime Watch
#5. A bad hair day
#6. Getting lost
#7. A boring life


Seven Things I Would Like To Do Before I Die
#1. Try not to die
#2. Open a cafe
#3. Eat my favourite food
#4. Drink my favourite drink
#5. Eat my favourite food again
#6. Keep everyone happy
#7. 变成童话里你爱的那个天使


Seven Things You Can Do
#1. I can be suspicious
#2. I can multi-task
#3. I can laugh
#4. I can laugh maniacally
#5. I can jump
#6. I can kick
#7. I can do a high jump kick while laughing maniacally


Seven Things You Can't Do
#1. Homeworks. haha.
#2. I cannot not be suspicious
#3. I cannot not laugh
#4. I cannot not laugh maniacally
#5. I cannot not jump
#6. I cannot not kick
#7. I cannot not do a high jump kick while laughing maniacally


Seven Things You Like
#1. Getting 4 Takoyakis in a box instead of the usual 3
#2. Having a seat in the train during the early morning
#3. A cup of warm coffee on a cold, lonely night
#4. Chancing upon a good book
#5. Watching a movie by myself
#6. The sense of accomplishment after finishing a Subway Sandwich
#7. My peepz


Seven Things You Dislike
#1. Getting 2 Takoyakis in a box instead of the usual 3
#2. Having no seats in the train during the early morning
#3. No cup of warm coffee on a cold, lonely night
#4. Noticing pages of a good book teared off
#5. Unexpected changes
#6. Beautiful girls (They only wanna do me dirt)
#7. The current disappearance of the comment box. Which is the result of me playing around with the html codings. Sien.


Seven People I'll Love To See Doing This
#1. The Addams Family
#2. Nanako Matsushima
#3. Chairman Mao
#4. Paul Bearer
#5. Gummy bears
#6. Squirdward
#7. Fisherman's friend


Forget about Erwin Edwin Edward Wadhisname Chen and his shitty scandals dudes! There's so many other more important stuffs that requires urgent attention like starting your own "7 things" meme man :)

Kay, Back to the Murder In Miniature.



More later,
~An Auspicious Man

There's something about How To Be Fearsome

Hello everyone.

Once you have fully mastered the sacred art of Being Evil, it's time to actually put them to good use and go put a cat up a tree, or something like that.

But do take note that while carrying out your immoral acts, it may be wise to look out for the guys in blue if you do not want to appear in the next episode of Crime Watch.

To be perfectly frank, it's entirely possible to actually take things up a notch higher and be not just heh-heh-heh-ly evil, but fearsome~. So, for the more advanced major-antagonists wannabes, to be fearsome you will now be require to have:


#1 Intimidating Powers
This may sounds complicated and unrealistic but in actual fact, it can be easily done in a snap.

Step 2a:
Okay. Firstly, crouch as low as you possibly could while focusing on intended target.

Step 2b:
Now lean a little forward. You should be able to feel your body weight.

Step 2c:
Quickly take a single step forward before delivering a forceful straight punch.


If the above is accurately done really quickly, you would automatically notice yourself doing something very similar to Fig 2.1.

Fig 2.1


Hadoken:
down, down+forward, forward, HP can be executed almost anywhere, anytime.

From cooking an hard boiled egg, to getting a seat in the MRT. From cutting a queue, to knocking that apple out of the tree. But why would anyone hadoken an apple? The apple hasn't done anything wrong. Poor apple. Why must people bully it so?

Do take note that if a hadoken is fired incorrectly, it may swerve the intended target and hit somebody else, who then might decide to Ankle Lock you into submission to teach you a lesson.

The hadoken may even backfire altogether and hit you in the groin area if you are not properly trained, which is why this is meant only for the advanced users.


#2 Intimidating Weapons
This is really essential because nobody will take any major antagonist seriously if he doesn't have any Intimidating Weapons. For a clearer illustration, take a look at the following:






Besides looking unrealistic, the only thing that the above wadevajoocallthats have in common is that they are all approximately 2 times the size of China.

Though it may virtually be impossible to obtain anything similar to the above wadevajoocallthats in the modern society, fear not as replacement is always available :)

Some very, very fear-inducing modern implements of destruction suggested are:


- a knife
- a chainsaw
- a knife taped to a chainsaw
- a grand piano and a bad pianist
- vegetables
- math teachers
- algebra


As an advice from A Suspicious Man:
never, NEVER ever go anywhere near the last suggestion. Don't even think about poking it with a 10metre stick. It's highly hazardous and long term dabbling with it may cause permanent brain damage. *shudders


#3 A Dark and Mysterious Past
Truth to be told, the idea of building a Secret Hideout in the last entry was actually a plan to kill 2 birds which I've cunningly came up with.

Now having a Dark and Mysterious Past is finally achievable. Just simply set your hideout on fire and you now have A brand new Dark and Mysterious Past. Shoop da whoop.


To cap it up, just grow a thick and curly beard and you will now be on the way to Fearsomeness :)


Fig 2.2.

More later,
~An Auspicious Man

There's something about The Pink Jacket Girl

I have no idea why, but somehow that girl in the pink jacket just stands out from the crowd.

She's never seen without her signature pink Minnie Mouse jacket. She also have this pair of sad eyes, yet she always seems to have a faint smile on her face. I find myself stealing quick glances at her when she's deep in her thoughts and noticing a familiar faraway gaze in her eyes.

She doesn't gossip, she doesn't bear grudges and she never seems to be affected by anything. There's something very special about her..

I find it really cute when she sticks out her tongue playfully whenever our eyes met. She's ever so bubbly and always seen jumping about enthusiatically for no apparent reasons.

I bumped into her in the cinema yesterday while I was on Self-Approved Holiday(heh) and for the first time, we had an actual conversation that lasted for more than 30secs haha. Imagine how surprised I was when I realised we are actually of the same age.

Even though we don't exactly talk much, she would still buy me a can of Iced Mocha during breaks sometimes. She really reminds me of someone..


Okay. I think I will click the Publish Post button now and leave the sugar icing for another day because words fails me now.


The girl with the pink jacket. . . . .



More later,
~An Auspicious Man


* I can't believe I actually wrote an entry on someone I hardly know. Bahh.

There's something about Are You DISC?

Hello everyone :D

Normally, any information that would actually make sense is strictly prohibited here in A Suspicious Blog. But I just can't resist sharing this piece of very interesting, very true and very valuable news yo!

Okay. Despite being a nonchalant slacker best known for his frequent disappearing acts during classes, I actually attended(read as: got caught while trying to run away) this talk called DISCovering Me recently. Basically, it's about uncovering and understanding the personalities of You, Yourself and YouAreU.

According to the speaker, there are only 4 types of people around and they are classified under personality D, I, S and C.


*The followings are rewritten agar-agarly



Personality D
People of personality D are commanders. They are very, very dominant and domineering. Have good leadership skills too.

However they couldn't care less about the others feelings as they only sees the end result. They thus misses the finer details.


Personality I
Basically, people who falls under this category are a people's person.

They are very warm hearted and are able to talk to anyone about anything under the sun. They enjoys taking the initiative to talk to people and making them feel good about themselves.

However, they're impulsive and have little control over their actions, words and emotions. Being a talker, they hates rejection and getting cold blanket. Not very result oriented as well.


Personality S
People of personality S are quiet and shy, but super nice to others :)

In similar fashion to people of personality I, they hates making people feels bad about themselves. Very simple minded and easily satisfied with simple things in life.

They are also overly passive and laid back. In short a very, very nonchalant slacker(why does this sound so familiar?). They lacks initiative and doesn't really like to express their thoughts, opinions and feelings.

They hates changes, conflicts and problems. They are also the kind of people who leaves the harder parts of a Math Paper empty.


Personality C
People of Personality C are perfectionists.

They cares only about the facts and thus neglect relationships. They are overly careful and very, very organized and task oriented. Plans everything well, even the unnecessary details. A powerful analysts and thinker.

They hates failure and thus, avoids taking risks. Very indecisive as well.

In a math paper, they would pen down every unit, every minor detail and every unnecessary workings carefully before using the rest of their time to check for mistakes.



I find this very true man. I'm of personality S,

The number of times I got tricked and bluffed in just a day is definitely more then the amount of rice Chairman Mao ate in his entire life. hurhur.

The other parts regarding passivity and slackingrity isn't much of a secret as well :P


So, which personality are you of? :)



More later,
~An Auspicious Man


P.S. All thanks to my buddha hearted HTML-expert friend, Joan, I can finally link other blogs :D!!! Do drop me a comment if I missed linking your blog man. I got the memory of a goldfish. haha.

There's something about Why Today Is Such A Great Day :D!

I'm so ecstatic now that I could kill 3 tigers, 2 lions and 1 Sean Kingston right here, right now man :D!!!

The following reasons shows why today is the best day ever:


Reason #1: honest stall keepers
1) While I was attacking the chicken rice during lunch today, a pretty lady from the drink stall came over and looking deeply into my eyes, she asked me, "帅哥, 要喝什么?" which I then calmly flipped through my hair before replying "Iced-milo 谢谢:)".

I noticed a faint smile on her face while she was making my Iced Milo. I've no idea why my Iced Milo taste especially sweet today.


2) The dude selling durians called me yandao when I walked past. haha.


Reason #2: my new shining shimmering splendid Exilim EX-Z57
Imagine how surprise I was when I was greeted with a package from the peepz when I got home today.

After putting away the stupid photo of them showing not-so-nice gestures which I'd found not-so-hidden inside the package, I saw the Casio Exilim EX-Z57 which I've been eyeing even before Sang Nila Utama found Singapore.

Study Fig 1.1.


Fig 1.1.


Exilim EX-Z57's sheer awesomeness makes even Arnold Schwarzenegger falls to his knees. Being the sleekest and coolest camera around, it's only right that I take it to work later and show it off to everyone in my path. I took a silent minute to thank God for His Miracles before going about the neighbourhood taking a shot of everything I could find.

mi bweri lurb mai jiemui siah. sista foreva.


kekes.



More later,
~An Auspicious Man


P.S. Me? Fails English? haha. That is unpossible!

There's something about The 27th Of Jan

I iz so sien.

I'm going to be a year older as of tomorrow, and thinking about it makes me feel kind of lousy.

Comparing myself to the others, I really doesn't have much achievement in both life and relationships to boast about.

My life's so monotonous and predictable each day that I browse through the calender every now and then to check if a Time Loop had actually taken place. I feels even my goldfish, Jack is having more fun in life than I.

I seems to be drifting in a sea of obstacles that never ends. I've no regards for yesterday and absolutely no clue what tomorrow brings, I see that I'm just living for the moment, now. Whenever the day's done, I find myself questioning myself: "Is someone testing me everyday I live?"

Sometimes, I wish I could just grab my jacket, a bag pack and walk over to the airport before getting a one-way ticket to a foreign land and start everything all over again.


Times like this, I really don't like the person I've become.



More later,
~An Auspicious Man



_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

Dear God,

I am not sure if you read this blog but all I need to ask of you is to please keep my family and peepz safe from harm. Actually, please do not let anyone I know come to any kinda danger. Even those that had since been out of my life and the ones I chatted with in MSN 1-2 times.

Thanks in advance.

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

There's something about The 7th Day

Dear Ciggy Nicotine,

It's been a week since we last contacted and I feel that we had drifted apart.

This long, long week was hell without you. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep. You're persistently on my mind.

On the 3rd day you left me, I stood in front of a shelf for a whole minute in 7-11, unable to made up my mind if I should give our love a second chance. We were so close yet so far..

You and I had come a long way. Even when my family and friends forbade us to be together, I'd never really forget you. Whenever I was feeling lousy, you will never fail to take my breath away, literally.

Even while I was having an intimate session with a Chupa Chup, the one I was truly thinking of is you.

I miss you pecking me on the lips every morning before I headed for school. I miss the warmth you gave me on cold and rainy days. I cannot forget the fun times we had.

The price of having you by my side wasn't cheap, but it's affordable. I skipped recess and forsaked suppers with peepz. But it's okay, love is all about sacrificing and giving in.

We shared a bond nobody seemed to be able to understand.
We had a complicated relationship nobody could comprehend.
We shared the perfect love.

Alas, this is a relationship that is not meant to be. Life played a cruel joke on us. We are really not meant for each other. The cost of having you by my side is now my spiralling Health and the worrisome thoughts of contracting Lung Cancer. We cannot continue this any longer. If we really love each other, we should let this go..

Like what a wise and well-learnt scholar who goes by the name of Jay Chou once said mumbled:


"我会学着放弃你, 是因为我太爱你~"



More later,
~An Auspicious Man

There's something about An Alternative Moniker

Hello boys and girls

In preparation for the upcoming Chinese New Year, A Suspicious Man had decided to temporarily alter his name so as to improve his luck during the CNY gambling sessions. I think it will work. I think.


More later,
~An Auspicious Man

There's something about The Nooblet's Doodlings

-Updated-


Latest Discovery:

On January 21th 2008, Professor Suspi D.Man found the perfect distraction tactic to keep his mind off smoking. ole.



What an important discovery. Bravo.

I had great fun doodling on tables, worksheets and textbooks during boring lessons in school and important documents at work man :D! Here's some of my doodlings which I've shamelessly decided to publish for the LULz.




Krizalid


Iori


Patrick and his best friend, Spongebob.

This is really Spongebob. When I showed my friend the picture, she laughs and asked if I was drawing Spongebob or Cheesebob. That was unfunny.



The Undertaker

Yah, WWF had since been changed to WWE due to legal issues. But just like how Ice Honey Sea Coconut will always beat Ice Kacang to me, WWF will always be WWF :)



Sir Crocodile





Update:











:) .............



More later,
~A Suspicious Man

There's something about Monster The Anime

I've finally finished the 74 odd episodes of it on Crunchyroll.com after my anime-crazy friend's constant nagging reminders of how great an anime it is and how much I'd lose out in life if I actually miss it.


Okay. Basically, the story's about this neurosurgeon, Dr Tenma who had a great life and is getting married to the daughter of the director of the hospital he was working in. But one day, he went against The Director's orders to save the City Mayor but instead save a young boy's life.

When the City Mayor died, The hospital name was brought down and The Director demoted him and makes his life hell. After the mysterious death of the director, Dr Tenma went on a relentless hunt for the boy he saved earlier on, believing him to be the culprit.




The protagonist of Monster. Unlike a typical neurosurgeon, the center-parting Dr Tenma job's to travel around with a gun and look cool.

He was initially the chief of Neurosurgery in a hospital but is later unjustly demoted because he chose to save a young blond dude's life instead of the City Mayor's. To add on, the young blond's actually a cold hearted mass murderer with monstrous charisma and lots of followers.

Dr Tenma went on a wild goose chase which lasted for 70+ episodes unnecessarily and met the other character along the trip.




Johan Liebert is the afore mentioned blond dude with the monstrous charisma and all. Like all major antagonists, he too have a Dark and Mysterious past involving major bloodbaths and massacres. Aspires to be the next Hitler.

With his extraordinary intelligence, he actively manipulates the others behind the scenes and is often the cause of mass murders. He spends his life causing sufferings and leaving destruction in his path.




The twin sister of the antagonist. Anna Liebert too, went on to pursue Johan Liebert to "set things right" albeit without much success, in similar fashion of Dr Tenma.

Her job in the anime is to look shock and terrified at every single thing.




When you look up on the word awesomeness in the dictionary, you will see his picture. I knew Inspector Runge wasn't my favourite character without a reason!

He makes typing movement with his hands while interrogating suspects and is able to record everything said down like a super computer. He is calm, collected and only have one facial expression throughout the show. Very, very cool.

I think he should have his own series :)




Grimmer finds everything funny enough to smile at. He's a freelance journalist working on a report regarding a mysterious orphanage involved in brainwashing. It's later revealed he was actually a kid from the orphanage, 511 Kinderheim but retains his memories.

He have this Incredible Hulk character where he will go berserk and smashes people's face in whenever he gets considerably frustrated or mad.




A reoccurring antagonist. Roberto never seems to be able to die till the last few episode. He was a victim of The brainwashing experiment conducted in the orphanage.

He's a faithful follower of Johan Liebert and have many, many girlfriends. 5 to be precise. As a professional hitman, he's involved in many killings of the sub characters.




Eva Heinemann was originally the fiancee of Dr Tenma and the daughter of the Hospital's Director which Dr Tenma is working in.

After the death of her father, she became alcoholic and later accused her fiancee, Dr Tenma of being the murderer. She went on a trip to hunt him down because she thinks he messed up her life.

She burnt the mansion her father left her for no apparent reasons.




Dr Reichwein is a psychologist who got pulled into the mess because one of his patient commited suicide thanks to Johan Liebert. He happens to be the teacher of Dr Tenma as well.




Sub character, Rudy Gillen is a criminologist whom no one cares about. He was the student of Dr Reichwein and the rival of Dr Tenma.




Martin is killed 2 episodes later after he was first introduced. I think that's funny. Anyway, besides standing around looking cool as shown, he didn't really do much in the 2 episodes he was in also.


All in all, Monster is..


...... An awesome anime! Really!

Unlike most psychological thrillers, Monster is full of surprising twists and turns. Major characters gets killed unexpectedly and bad guys comes back time after time. The plot and storyline kicks arse and the suspense at every corner is very well thought up.

A tragic but fitting ending to a great story. This series doesn't need a sequel, all it needs is to be told. Oya, how come in an anime everyone seems to be speaking japanese everywhere in the world huh?


So like what my friend said, "Live life to it's fullest, never miss out on any good things. Go watch the anime, Monster."



More later,
~A Suspicious Man


The crave for nicotine is damn jialat. But I am proud to report here that I have not given in. I iz a men. A bery, bery determined men.

There's something about The Infallible Plan

Okay. After finishing the last pack of cigs yesterday evening, I made this decision on the spur of the moment.

Me iz gonna quit smoking.

Yeap, your eyes are really not playing a trick on you. To prevent myself from falling out of the decision I'd made on impulse, I've already come up with the fool-proof implementations.

This morning, I headed down to Guardian and bought myself 3 packs of Nicorette gums before getting a whole arse-whooping tin of Chupa Chups so that I won't start biting myself like the last time I tried quitting.


150 lollipops

Cost me a whooping $34.90 man, that's 3 packet of Viceroy! The not-so-cheap-also gums combined with this should really stop me from puffing.

As a preventive measure, I've also locked my wallet up in a safe just to be safe and saved. It's not called a safe for nothing. But the crave got so bad 2mins ago, I'd locked my safe in another safe. Double saved. Now, am I man enough to do it?

I'm going to grab a pop' and go for a jog to keep my mind off.

Adios!


More later,
~A Suspicious Man

There's something about Not-So-Smart Conversations

Hello boys and girls :D

I happened to chance upon this post and some of the not-so-intellectual questions asked by random people from before popped back into my mind almost instantly.

Hmm.. Let me share a few of them here :)


Thoughts Provoking Conversation #1:
So I was sitting around in Starbucks with a friend while savoring a cup of nice, warm Caramel Macchiato I bought myself when we noticed there's this snail on the grassy patch nearby.

Me: "you know hor, if you put salt on it(the snail), it'll sizzle and die leh."

Friend: "huh..."

Friend: "then the snail cannot take salty food huh??"


Thoughts Provoking Conversation #2:
During the time when I was working in a computer cafe, I encountered lots n' lots of interesting characters almost daily.

Customer A: "Hey computer #15 cannot use wor."

Me: "The keyboard's spoilt.."

Customer A: "But I cannot type in my login ID in Maplestory!!"



Thoughts Provoking Conversation #3:
I got my job working as a waiter sometime in a Western restaurant later but similar people still appears occasionally.

Me: "Sir may I have your order :) ?"

Customer B: "Sure, I'd like to have the Fish and Chips set."

Customer B: "oya.. does the Fish and Chips contain beef?"



Thoughts Provoking Conversation #4:
So I was on the topic of Archaeology with a friend over a meal and was talking about the ruins and lost cities.

Me: "Wonder how the people feels when they discover new ruins haha."

Friend: "Must be very happy la."

Friend: "By the way, do you know of any undiscovered ruins?"


I am surrounded by very farni people.


Although I'm not exactly very intellectual as well, but I think it's still better to think twice before speaking your mind. I think la. haha.



More later
~A Suspicious Man

There's something about A Near Death Experience

I've heard about how people missed getting hit by a van by just a hair's length and how construction workers missed a step and almost fell from the 12th floor! But walao, theirs seems so mild as compared to what I'd been through. I still shudders at the thought of it..

Okay. The evening before, Joan decided to treat me to a birthday dinner in advance cos' she would be overseas on the day itself. We found ourselves strolling around the mall unable to on a restaurant. The KFC's too crowded there, Sakae Sushi's too expensive, and we don't feel like having Burger King either.

So off we went to check Subway out :)

I had it once last year with a classmate and it's basically tasteless. The bread was so hard that I think it can alternate as a throwing weapon. But I firmly believes that even sandwiches deserves a second chance.

I made an utter fool of myself at the counter because I don't know the steps required to "customize" my sandwich. Yah, there are steps. Firstly, you needa pick the veggies, follow by the bread, then the sauce and lastly the meat. This is what I ordered:

Fig 1.1.


Big Mac can't hold a candle to this. You won't believe how oversize gigantic humongous this sandwich is man. I was so full after finishing only half of it, I could hardly stand already. Imagine how I felt when Joan told me to finish the sandwich.


Me: I'm so full, let's go.

Me: Kia?

Joan: No way! Finish it! Birthday meal you know!


Sien. After I'm done with the third quarter, I almost wanted to do a video to conclude my life!

I finally finished the burger a few years later. +1 accomplishment to my List of Outstanding Achievements. Hurray! I am so proud of myself. Then I realise there's still 5 more packets of raisin cookies.


Traumatizing. I will cherish everyone in my life from now on.



More later
~A Suspicious Man

There's something about Another Lup Sup Post

There's this new female colleague at work today! :)

During the break, everyone practically ignored her because they were busy practicing the Secret Skill of Flying Daggers on each other.

But she doesn't seems to mind at all. Unlike the others, she doesn't seems to get affected with loneliness. Something is special about her man. So I decided to make friends with her and got into a conversation that goes something like this:


"Hi, I am Mr Manly D. Man and I would like to make friends with you. My favourite food is Ice Honey Sea Coconut and I likes to drink coffee. In my free time, I enjoys counting my fingers. I am currently stuck at number 8. So, wanna hang out later?"



....... I wish I had actually say that.

I must be the most awkward guy around. I gets especially nervous when I talk to girls. Except for my peepz, I stammers throughout a casual conversation with any other girls and will probably self-destruct if it last for more than 10mins.

This is what really happened.


Me: hi....

Her: hi....

Me: ea.. eaten?

Her: nope... you?

Me: same haha..

Her: haha..

Me: haha okay la.. byebye.. haha.

Her: haha byebye...


That's awkward conversation #801 for this year. Ole.



More Later,
~A Suspicious Man


P.S Uber tired recently. With all the catching up on school work and disagreements at work, I can barely get 3 hours of sleep a day man.

There's something about The Friends I Had

When I was a kid, I was in Melody Land, a child care centre.

Back then, everyone's favourite past time is napping, deliberately peeing in the classrooms and snapping the heads of Wrestlemania figurines off. Nobody ever takes studying, toys, food and girls seriously.

I got bored of playing pretend cooking with them soon enough and is then often seen reading and drawing on a picture book under a table. Holding hands with girls is a very normal thing to do also. I was often ignored by the guys because I can hardly speak or read mandarin and I know shit about English. I am not very interested in drawing on the walls with them as well.

My only friend is my picture book.


In kindergarten, everyone's favourite past time is still peeing in the classroom and watching the priceless look on the teacher face.

Maths back then is too easy to be true and I cream the subject easily. However, I was often mocked at because I couldn't speak English. I didn't know enough English to tell the teacher I wants to go to the toilet so er... yah. haha.

I still remember this guy who likes to pretend to be Wolverine by putting three pencils between his fingers and then hum to the tune of the X-Men cartoon. He was the class hero man. Everyone loves X-Men. I was still reading picture books under the tables and often had a search party looking for me.

My picture book is still my only friend.


Primary school. Less people enjoys the art of peeing in class. I think that sucks because there was less LULz for me. Sien. They say greatness starts young and I agrees with that.

During lessons time, I was often seen in the school canteen slacking and enjoying the sandwich I brought myself. Talk about bravery. Actually it's because I can't read the timetable la. It's in English.

Everyone speaks broken English but would still laughs at me because I don't even dare to mutter a English word. I thus decided to keep a distant away from everyone.

The Digivice(?) back then was the coolest thing to have. One day, I brought mine to school and I have tons of guy friends instantly :D Yeah!! After the first class test, everyone realised my grades are above class's average and I have my first female friend! Girls love nerds :)

In primary 3, I transferred to a new school and is so sien because I will have to make friends all over again. I joined library but quited 3 weeks later because I cannot be bothered to do my job and is always reading picture books.

In primary 4, I seriously bucked up on my English because I was so tired of getting mocked at and everyone was shocked that I scored the highest in class. Bwahaha. Since then, I always have friends to play soccer and catching with every recess :)

I decided to just ignore everyone when I was in primary 6 because I hardly have any interest in their full fire Pokemon deck or how The Rock beat Stone Cold last evening. Also, I really don't care what rare holy shiny card they got from a Yu-Gi-Oh booster pack and the type of omelette they gotten from Neopet last afternoon.

I was bored of the monotonous life and decided to play truancy for the first time just to get the taste of excitement and the adrenaline rush. I called my then girlfriend and went to the arcade. Hurray!

You cannot believe how much savings I'd blown on trying to earn the Tokens to exchange for the Bunny Soft Toy she wants. But it's okay. I'd still gotten into the Express stream later. Heh.

My friends then are my girlfriend, the people I met in arcades and my Playstation.


Lower secondary. I attends school approximately 2-3 days per week and went for soccer matches during lessons. I cannot be bothered with getting a CCA and since my studies is unaffected, nobody cares. I walks in and out of the class as and when I like.
My surname is The Unstoppable.

While hiding in a secluded staircase landing after a soccer match one day, my friends and I came up with a name for our Clique. We are henceforth known as:


The B.A.K.A.S.
Best Absenting Kings Around Singapore.


hahaha. thinking back, it still cracks me up :D But all these stopped when they get kicked out of school one by one. It doesn't help that I just lost my girlfriend. My studies were so affected because I am such a wuss and can't get over it.

This marks the start of the downhill turn for my life.

I got into a fight after my niece told me in between tears that some guys in her school are bullying her everyday and I just can't stand watching girls cry. A lady is a lady and should be treated like a lady no matter what.

Alas, I almost got expelled from school and for the first time how I felt really, really depress at the lack of justice.

My grades are bullshit. Except for the A2 or the occasional A1 for English, I F9-ed all my other subjects. I have no more interest in studies. Especially so after looking at my joke of a report book.

I thus took Self Approved Holiday away from school for a year. Yah, a year.


The working life is totally different. Everyone is cunning and backstabbing. It's a dog eat dog world out there. Gotta be alert and on guard at all times.

In my short stay there, I witness my colleagues pushing blames around and cutting throats, but would still go for lunch together later. How pretentious can people be?

There's also people I smoked and crap with during breaks, but would just go our own way after working hours. I kepto myself to avoid getting involved in conflicts and misunderstandings.

Luckily I still have my clique to turn to :)


After a month back into the school, I somehow adjusted everything back in place and gotten new friends. But later, I just went solo because I've no interest in Maplestory and their dirty jokes.

Gotta be very careful with every action and moves I made so as to avoid getting in trouble. Everyone's not whom they seem to be. There's still Hi and Byes but it's just a form of gesture.


Yah I think I should go get a cig now.



More later
~A Suspicious Man

There's something about How To Be Evil

I am so pissed off with my colleagues. Argh.

Apparently shit happened and everyone started to push the crap to the next person. The unlucky dude at the end of the flames is a blur and innocent target, who happens to be me..

Gah.

I've since drawn up my plans and decided to share with everyone who had been innocently accused by cunning and backstabbing colleagues the 4 pointers to turn your life around. It's time to show them who's boss by beating them in their game.

Okay. In order to be not just evil, but heh-heh-heh-ly evil you will need:


#1 To be able to Laugh Evilly
Laughing evilly is the very first step to being evil and can be easily achievable in 3 simple steps. But do take note that laughing evilly without having a good reason may result in getting a swift kick to your crotch.

Observe the the following steps to pull off the perfect evil laugh:


Step 1a:
Firstly, tilt your head back approximately 45 degree so that you're facing /

Step 1b:
Now clench your fists lightly and place them on your hips.

Step 1c:
To finish it up, feet apart and parallel it to your shoulder width.


Just accomplishing this stance alone gives you a bonus +800 Evil Feeling points. Really. This is an accurate example of how it should look like when you're done:

Fig 1.1.



The standard Evil Laugh shown at Fig 1.1. is applicable in many situations: from tripping your unwary colleagues to after winning at a Table Tennis game. It's even appropriate when the teacher's asking you for the reason for not doing your homework.

For the ultimate dare devils, I by no means encourage you to kick an old lady down the stairs and do this.

You can master the art of Evil Laugh by practicing it every morning right after you woken up and before brushing your teeth :)


_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

Walao. Busying Alt + Tab between MSN and Blogger, I just accidentally typed a wrong message to a wrong person in MSN. Some more is a pretty girl, man :(

I needa go get a shovel and dig myself to the other side of Earth now.

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

#2 To be able to give an Evil Look
The Evil Look's undoubtedly the most important part in being evil.

Begin by catching the attention of your desired target. Once eye contact is made, start squinting your eyes as much as possible but be careful not to accidentally close them as it will results in you being unable to see anything.

After approximately 10 seconds or so, clench your teeth and and lift the upper right side of your lips while quivering them(your lips) as you do so.

An Evil Look is best used when someone causes you annoyance and discomfort. Eg: classmate accidentally drops your pencil box on the floor.


#3 To have a Dark and Mysterious Past
As a rule of thumb, ALL major antagonists in anime needs to have a dark and mysterious past and that's that. No arse-whooping bad guys studies in any school and have any friends because [inserts an irrelevant reason].

But it's too late for you now if you do not possesses this.


#4 To have a Secret Hideout
This is a very vital part in Being Evil. All up-to-date major antagonists needs to have a secret base located somewhere in a mountain, in a hard-to-reach castle, or in China because no arse-whooping major antagonists likes to stay with his grandparents.

Here's a step by step walk-through on how you can build A Portable Secret Base.


You will need:
- alot, alot of cardboards
- 800 rolls of scotch tapes
- an origami book
- a 0.8metre long wooden stick
- a lighter
- a very scary and unique mask (provided below)


Okay. First of all, open the origami book and look for: "How To Build: A Paper House", then fold the cardboard like instructed and tape everything together.

It should be nightfall by the time you're done. Now just sit around comfortably in it and get a well deserved rest.

Oya, if anyone happens to be trespassing on your sacred grounds, you can then put on the very unique and very cool Cut-Out Mask provided below and light the wooden stick on fire subsequently using the lighter, and then scares them off by waving it about while shouting incoherently :D

Fig 1.2.


Be sure to colour it for maximum effect! I think Green is nice :)


Time for me to go report for work. Hectic life man...



More later
~A Suspicious Man